The worst movie ever made

Or four hours of my life that I'll never get back.

I would love, love, love to drop my English Lit. class. My dreams of reading classic literature have been crushed. So far this semester we've read only 4-5 very short stories and poems. The rest of the time has been spent playing odd little games and watching movies, Hamlet, Uncle Tom's Cabin*, and Pride and Prejudice. My teacher spends the first fifteen minutes of class reading "humor", usually an e-mail forward that we've all seen hundreds of times before. Then we play some sort of game that requires us to throw a ball across the giant room and pair up to do a ridiculous exercise that has absolutely nothing to do with English or Lit. or anything really. Then she passes gum and candy around to everyone and gives a brief talk about nothing. It is the strangest class. Once she played a Weird Al cassette tape and had us compare it to The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock.

My teacher is a huge Monty Python and Star Trek fan. I am not.

The day before Spring Break we begin to watch the stupidest movie ever, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. If you haven't seen it, picture Dumb and Dumber set in a Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1,000X dumber than you could imagine. If you have seen it, I'm so sorry! Yes, it's that bad.

The thought of returning from Spring Break and watching the rest of it made me ill. I seriously considered not returning.

The second half was just as painful to sit through as the first. When it finally ended. My teacher said "Since we will be spending the rest of the semester discussing and writing a paper on this movie I've decided to show it again. Be prepared to take detailed notes over the next two class periods." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The rest of the semester is dedicated to this movie. Are you freaking kidding me???!!

I'm not gonna make it. Help!

* I really wish we could have read the book Uncle Tom's Cabin. The horrid acting took away so much of the movie.