The Audition

Sometime in July I received a strange phone call. It was from a modeling/talent agency (which shall remain anonymous) . The woman proceeded to tell me that she had met my "beautiful children" at a fair my parents took them to weeks before. She "couldn't get their gorgeous faces" out of her mind and despite giving my mom all her contact information no one called to schedule an audition. She insisted that my children were exactly what her company was looking for. gag

I had a brief moment of insanity and agreed to take the five lunatics potential stars for an audition the following morning. As soon as I hung up the phone I began to have second thoughts. My limited experience of modeling in my late teens and early 20's coupled with Joey's early modeling career should have immediately raised red flags with this cold call.

I didn't mention it to the kids figuring if it happened it happened. How would I approach it without raising their hopes anyway?

After swim team I took extra care in curling the girls hair and dressing the five monkeys in coordinating dark colors, to bring out the color of their eyes. ;) Instead of driving home we went to the agency which happened to be very close to our house.

The audition itself was a joke. Joey halfheartedly read a script for cereal and Megan sang a karaoke song. Unfortunately, Megan inherited her singing ability from me. I'm so sorry Megs.

They were asked questions like, why do you want to be a star and how long have you dreamed about this moment. Perhaps I should have prepped them a bit. lol
Joey answered annoyed, "I don't. want. to be. a star. I want to be a college history professor." I thought it was hysterical.

Julie and Tommy made the entire process worthwhile with their awesome auditions. Julie, my super shy-introverted-princess, sang, danced, batted her eyes and did a spectacular job reading her Polly Pocked scripted commercial. I would kill to get a copy of that tape.

But Tommy absolutely stole the show. As soon as the woman adjusted the video camera and positioned him in front of the big screen he was on. He began singing at the top of his lungs "JESUS CROSS* ~~ JEEEE SUS Croooooooossss~ Jessssssssuuuuuuuusssss~" Then he danced a little jig as he sang "Monkey man does da monkey daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance Mee a monnnnnnkey woo not a monnnnnnkey" Once the woman finally got his attention and asked him to stop she began recording. She asked him to make an assortment of different faces, happy, normal, shy, silly, and sad. He complied until she said sad. Then he went into a long monologue about being sad in timeout when he breaks Joey's K'nex. It was quite comical. He was so funny. For Tommy's final question the woman asked him who his favorite super hero is and he replied, "Hmmm...wet me fink for a minute.....Oh I know! My favowit supa heewo is MY DAD...yep my Fawder is my favorite super heewo!" The kids we laughing so hard they were actualy rolling on the floor. It was absolutely hysterical.

The woman ended up informing me that they had immediate openings for Joey and Megan but nothing for the three little guys. She suggested that I enroll J and Megs into a "personality building" class. WTH? Those two totally bombed their audition but I like their personalities just the way they are thankyouverymuch. She was less than kind when I articulated my thoughts on the matter. The fact that she only wanted the two older ones proved that she just wanted my money.

What a freaking scam. Tommy was so damn cute though. And My Ju-ju, I didn't know she had a star hidden deep inside her. :) Oh well the kids thoroughly enjoyed the auditions.